Setting screen time rules: what really matters?

It’s something every parent worries about at some point – but there are no easy answers or a one-size-fits-all amount of screen time that works for every child. 

What matters most is how screens fit into your child’s overall life, and if and how it affects sleep, education, safety and wellbeing.

Think quality, not just quantity

Not all screen time is equal. Watching a film as a family or doing homework online is different from bottomless scrolling or compulsive gaming. Focus less on counting minutes and more on what your child is actually doing. 

Ask yourself if they’re creating, connecting or consuming. Encouraging more meaningful screen use helps children develop healthy digital habits that will last.

Build a consistent routine

Structure is good for children – especially around screen use. Start by agreeing (ideally together) on when devices can and can’t be used. For example, only after homework, not during meals or off an hour before bed.

A basic healthy routine should mean less need for constant supervision, negotiation or ad hoc rule changes. 

Use tools

If you set rules, make sure you enforce them. It’s good to acknowledge that most apps and games are working against you around moderating screen time but many do offer parental supervision tools that help. For example, TikTok’s or Discord’s Family Centre let you view and manage your teen’s daily screen limits, or set reminders to take a break. 

Be realistic

Of course, life will always get in the way. There may be rainy days, long car journeys, times when you need them occupied or are too busy to keep check on them. That’s normal – but that can sometimes allow rules to slip. 

What matters is balance over time, not perfection every day. Flexibility is fine but make sure you make it clear this is the case and can be an opportunity for your child to learn self-control for themselves.

Model the habits you want to see

Your own behaviour sends a powerful message. If you put your phone aside during family time or switch off before bed, children will notice. 

Show that screens can be set aside when something more important deserves attention. Granted, they may not always follow your example – but at least it makes it easier to enforce any rules you set for them.

Look for signs of a problem

As children grow, they may need to spend more time online – for school, socialising, or gaming. 

Keep an eye on how it’s affecting them. If they become more irritable, disengaged, or find it hard to put devices down, it’s a good time to check in and talk about what’s going on.