De-escalating family digital disagreements

You and your child won’t always agree about devices and screen time – but how you handle it will make a big difference. The goal is to guide your child, not go to war.

Stay calm and listen

Whether they have overstepped a boundary, don’t agree with a decision or have got into trouble – it’s important to stay calm. This is the hardest bit, but really critical. Listen to your child’s perspective without interrupting. Acknowledging their feelings helps them feel heard and can reduce resistance.

Remind them of expectations

Remind your child that rules and boundaries are in place to support their wellbeing, not to catch them out. Explaining why you have these expectations – for their safety and wellbeing – should at least keep the conversation constructive.

Negotiate together when possible

Invite your child to suggest solutions or compromises. For example, ask what a fair amount of screen time is in their view, or how best to balance homework and gaming. Involving them in decisions builds responsibility and trust.

Check in on emotions, not just rules

Notice if your child is frustrated, anxious, or upset. Sometimes, these feelings are more important to address than the rules themselves. A quick check-in can prevent small disagreements from turning into bigger conflicts.

De-escalate when needed

If tensions rise and your child (or you) can’t calm down, it’s okay to take a break. Step away, give each other time to cool off, and return to the conversation later with a calmer mindset. Agreeing to pause rather than push through often prevents arguments from blowing up.