Talking to your child about screens: do’s and don’ts
Building good family communication about screens can help your child have a better time online, reduce the number of meltdowns and save you a whole heap of worry too.
Here are five things to try – and five things to try and avoid.
Do… Listen to their point of view
Give your child space to share their side, whether it’s about having a new app or game or being allowed more screen time.
Don’t… Delivery one-way lectures about screen time
Long talks that focus only on limits can feel critical and unhelpful. Instead, have a two-way discussion about balance and routines.
Do… stay curious
Whether your child is hooked on a new game or randomly shouting ‘6-7’, be curious about what they are up to and why – without judgement. It will make communication much more positive.
Don’t… criticise their favourite apps or games
Dismissing what your child enjoys can lead to defensiveness. It doesn’t have to appeal to you to have value. Avoid dismissing things outright (as annoying or brainrotting as they may seem) or else your child may be less willing to open up to you going forward.
Do… be consistent
Make sure rules are easy to follow and your expectations are clear. If there are consequences for breaking the rules, be consistent with these too – even if it’s not always convenient.
Don’t… use screen bans as punishment
When devices become a tool for control, conversations turn into conflict and make general boundaries harder to maintain.
Do… ask them to show you
Your child may be using apps and games you don’t understand, so don’t be afraid to ask them what they do or how they work.
Don’t… assume they know everything
Even if your child seems more confident with tech than you, they’re still a child. They lack your experience and understanding of the world. Find out what they understand and fill the gaps together.
Do… watch for clues
Not all communication is verbal. If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, over-tired or over-stimulated, it could be a sign they have a problem with screens. There may be something they’re not telling you.
Don’t… confront them
If there is a problem, your child may react unhelpfully if you address it straight on. You could try easing into the subject by asking open-ended questions. For example, ‘Is there anything worrying you at the moment?’
Gentle conversations can open the door to more honest communication over time.
If you’d like more ideas on how to approach tricky topics, take a look at our article on How to set good digital rules that actually work.